remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Holy sore nipples Batman
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
