there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
