all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
