Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
