i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i dont even know how to be here
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
