dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
