I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
