Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
