Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
