It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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