too bad you live with your parents still
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
