our cab driver is having phone sex.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
