He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
