After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
