He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
