My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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