I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
