I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
