I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
