It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
