Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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