one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
