I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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