if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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