do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
