i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
