Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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