Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
