I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
