i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
