You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
