pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
