I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
