Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's shark week go big or go home
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
