What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
