my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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