does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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