so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
