Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
