After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
