turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
