So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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