were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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