Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
