accomplished twins. life is a go
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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