For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Even my vagina gasped.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
