we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
