I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
