I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
