i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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