I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
