so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
